With the rapid development of economic, great changes have taken in our living standard.But it is a pity that our moral decline. What the sketch has conveyed does mirror an obvious social problem----some people in order to the profit of himself and regardless of others.
economic改为名词形式economy。
decline用单数形式或者现在进行时。注意主谓一致,句子结构要完整。
some people in order to the profit of himself and regardless of others.这句话语法混乱,结构错误。In order to 是做目的状语,to是介词,后面跟动词原形,不能直接跟在主语后面做谓语。所以这句话需要重新调整,补充句子谓语。另外and连接并列的词需形式上保持统一,写句子的时候应注意。
In my opinion, firstly, the increased number of this phenomenon is caused by our education. In the past several decades, many children in their home is a little majesty, they are the pearl in their parents’ hands and the focus in the family. As a result, they are tend to be a person who consider himself only. Besides, it is widely believed that who holds the purse rules the house. No view is more dangerous now than it.
the increased number of this phenomenon,既然是增加的现象,那么现象就应该用其复数形式。
In the past several和is、are、are等谓语动词形式需统一。既然是说过去,那么后面的谓语动词就要对应一致。以免造成句意上的误解,时间顺序混乱,会让读的人不知道你在说什么。
is应该是复数,前面主语是children。
are tend这两个谓语动词不能放在一起。去掉is即可。
consider的逻辑主语是a person,所以其形式应该是单数形式。建议将consider himself only改为is self-centered,不用生硬的翻译,传递同样的意思即可。
who holds the purse这是一个定语从句,前面需加上一个逻辑主语,句子才会完整。
For the reasons above, I feel that everyone of us has a piece of responsibility to respect the old and care the young. First of all, education department should pay attention to cultivate students the sense of moral. Moreover, as the proverb says “The greatest talkers are always least doers.” For now on, let’s take actions to make this world a better place to live in.
cultivate students the sense of moral结构错误。cultivate后直接跟宾语,这句话中有两个名词students 和the sense of mora,这是汉语思维,在英语中属于双宾语,但是Cultivate不接双宾语。所以应调整为cultivate the sense of moral of students。
says后加逗号。
For错误。应是from。
总体建议:文章思路总体还是清晰,切题的。不过在表达上面还是有欠缺,这个主要表现在语法错误上面,对于时态问题掌握的还不够好,谓语动词的时态不同是会使句子意思差别很大的。所以以后在写作中应当注意类似问题。
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