Free考研资料 - 免费考研论坛

 找回密码
 注册
打印 上一主题 下一主题

我的作文,欢迎大家批评!

[复制链接]
11#
ganfeng01 发表于 07-12-21 16:28:29 | 只看该作者
  好!~
12#
fanren1985 发表于 07-12-21 16:33:56 | 只看该作者
本帖最近评分记录
海豚宝贝   2007-12-21 15:36   考元   +26   挑的很认真,海豚先带楼主谢谢你了~


应该是“代”

再加一次考元
13#
 楼主| 笔为剑 发表于 07-12-21 20:01:27 | 只看该作者
海豚如何评价呢?
我可以得多少分呢?
14#
 楼主| 笔为剑 发表于 07-12-21 20:21:39 | 只看该作者
原帖由 海豚宝贝 于 2007-12-21 15:35 发表

对,楼主可能出现小错误了,谢谢您的就纠正哦,先带楼主谢谢你了



就是说,我要把is去掉是吧.谢谢了
15#
 楼主| 笔为剑 发表于 07-12-21 20:34:27 | 只看该作者
原帖由 kaoyan 于 2007-12-21 16:27 发表
At this time,At the same time有重复意味,建议换一个词,meanwhile或者其他


太谢谢你了!别人总说我语言太贫乏……
16#
wm7946880 发表于 07-12-22 10:42:10 | 只看该作者
不错,15分吧[s:4] [s:4] [s:4]
17#
invisible 发表于 07-12-22 13:57:31 | 只看该作者
tend是动词啊
18#
invisible 发表于 07-12-22 13:58:32 | 只看该作者
tend是动词啊
19#
hnx1144521 发表于 07-12-22 14:21:29 | 只看该作者
As the picture shows, a football-player is going to shot,when  he thinks, ”The gate is so small, and the gate-keeper is so strong. How can I kick a goal?”
这样子好不好呢?
最后一段似乎是为了充字数,与前文不搭,已经得出结论了,还要在证明一下,有买弄的嫌疑,不如防到第2段之后做为对比出现

欢迎来到免费考研网www.freekaoyan.com
20#
hnx1144521 发表于 07-12-22 17:27:34 | 只看该作者
小建议


Believe Yourself
  As the picture shows, a football-player is going to shot, when he thinks, ”The gate is too small  while  the gate-keeper is too strong. How can I kick a goal?”  however, at the same time, the gate-keeper says to himself, ”The gate is so large that I  can\'t keep it!” Can people like them win a game? On the contrary, take Zidane, a great football-player, for example. When on the playground, he always smiles to himself “I believe I can fly, nobody can defeat me.” And he did!  Why it happens?  

   I have to say that self-confidence plays an important part in our lives. A man who is lack of self-confidence  tend to underestimate himself and then acturally fail, such as the player and the gate-keeper above. How can we get self-confidence? At first, we should tell ourselves “I believe myself, and I can beat anybody else!”  Maybe the rival we face is nervous and would overestimates us. But did Zidane win his competitors  only by thought and chance? Surely not!When practicing, he works heart and soul.  So last but not the least, work harder, practice more, so that we can be more powerful.
   Above all, believe yourself, and then work hard, and then you will assertorically conquer any adversary in your life, and then of course you will be the winner !




[ 本帖最后由 hnx1144521 于 2007-12-22 17:42 编辑 ]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|Free考研资料 ( 苏ICP备05011575号 )

GMT+8, 24-12-1 17:24 , Processed in 0.128352 second(s), 11 queries , Gzip On, Xcache On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.2

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表