又写了篇03年的,还得烦大家帮忙修改!

题目就是03年的(温室花朵经不起风雨!),请大家帮忙修改!


     The two pictures show us a meaningful scene.In the left picture,a beautiful flower is blooming in the green house,despite the heavy thunder storm outside.The right picture shows that when moved out of the green house,the very same flower is entirely destroyed by the merciless wind and rain.Though the pictures seem to decribe the flower, actually they compare children today with the flower.And we can safely draw a conclusion that children who are always protected excessively by their parents can not meet the demand of society when they grow up.
     There're many reasons responsible for the question why children nowadays are so vulnerable.The most contributing one is that with economy increasing rapidly,parents can afford to give their children more comfortable live conditions.Parents are reluctant to make their children live a serious life which they have ever went through.What's more,regarded as little emperor in families,children themselves have no opportunities to understand how hard the life is in society and consequently consider it as confortable as at home.School's close education form also play a role in this case.When learning knowledges in school,children are also kept far away from the real seciety by the heavy iron gates at the same time.Therefore,all these reasons above make children unexperienced and fragile.
     Confront with this problem,we should find several solutions to it.On the one hand,parents should distinguish love from spoiling a child and give children the appropriate circumstance.On the other hand,children should be given a chance to develop a sense of independence,and it is indispensable for them to accumulate experiences in the social activities.Only be independent can children live a meaningful life.Only in this way can they meet the demand of the future.


还有04年的,帖子位置http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-226072-1-1.html

从这一篇里面暴露了楼主对英语使用习惯的不熟悉，有些地方的写法都透露出典型的中文思维，比如这一句：
Though the pictures seem to decribe the flower, actually they compare children today with the flower.
楼主在这方面加强一下就没什么问题了。

1.第二段的question可以改为phenomenon，可能更好一些；
2.第三段开头Confronted；
3.个人猜测，你的这篇作文应该是写了很长时间，你试着把所记下的好句子都用上。主要的不足是汉语思维非常严重，你要多用用it is句型和其他句型，比如：parents should distinguish love from spoiling a child and give children the appropriate circumstance.可以改为Distinguishing love from spoiling a child,parents should give their children the appropriate circumstance.
4.还有个细节，用word统计了一下，276个词，太多了，会严重挤压你做其他的题的时间。其实仔细想想，因为有题目限制、一些不得不说的废话和自己总结的好句子，其实作文自己发挥的空间并不是很大。

写的不错，呵呵，加油[s:2]

三楼的句子很王道，
另外，confront不用改吧！

哦~呵呵，那是我孤陋寡闻啦

very same 。。。。值得商榷

very same 是和<这个杀手不太冷>里面的Gary Oldman学的,原句是:\"It\'s just the very same Italian hitman\"