投河自尽的虾 发表于 2013-11-14 09:03
洛杉矶通过对不同种族的青少年进行研究后发现,青少年的行为榜样一般都是他们所熟悉的,例如他们的 ...
第一段描述,你最后一句就不用写了·····因为那不是图上表现出来的
其次第二段,分析不不够简练!最好是一条一条的写清楚,陈述明白
最后你的意见,老实说你得换一下表述手法,你那样的表现手法,好像最后一句才是你的opinion,所以,赶紧照着例文练习怎么写,构思最重要!!其次是词语和句式。
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The given picture conveys a normal phenomenon in nowadays china which is children considers their parents as a burden,just like the cartoon depictd---four kids regards their own old father as a ball and kicking him far way form their own place.It is distressed, isn't it?But this does happens in recently china!
How could this be? Economic downturn and unemployment may affects this poorly,but the main reason about the appearance is the moral deficiency,chasing their own interests become more crucial than take the responsibility for their parents,especially when chidren have their own kids,they will gets lots of stuff to deal with,including take care of the food and clothing,studying,physical or psychological demands.
While government emphasizes the old people supporting issue----The old man cannot provide for themselves and old people's psychological demands,for example----some reasonable solution is,that regular old people's social security system,advertising the virtue of chinese,and I think things will gets better if we come together with one heart!
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