张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

kfzhou的作文

To whom it may concern,
It is my pleasure of writing (to write) the letter of recommending Bernard E.Hill who is my foreign (去掉foreign) English teacher. He wishes to be considered for the application of a teaching position in your institution.
Bernard E.Hill is (a) gifted young teacher, who has devoted his heart to the English teaching. For his competence, he gains respect from everyone who has taught. And he has also published several articles in English education paper. I feel sure that, if he would be accepted, he will do you a perfect job.
If some more information is in need, please feel free to contract me!
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

评析：
本文是一封推荐信，符合书信的写作规范。文章的段落结构层次分明，但是语言表达的自然流畅度有待加强，请注意语法错误。
评分：7分


The picture vividly shows that, a man who stands on a pile of low-quality products is blowing the “balloon” of advisement. It means that, the low-quality products may become popular goods by this way-false advertisement.

The painter reminds us of false advisement (advertisements). Nowadays, a lot of false advertisements rush to our eyes from TV, newspapers, internet and so on. They will do harm to us. Firstly, false advertisement tends (与前面的形式保持一致false advertisements tend) to exaggerate the functions of the goods advertised. Besides, false advertisement may also cause healthy problems (健康问题应表达为health problems). Finally, false advertisement will affect the development of economy and society in the long run.

In my opinion, effective actions should be taken to eliminate the false advertisements. On one hand, the government should set laws to punish the company (复数形式companies) which make the false advertisement. On the other hand, the media should also take responsible to (for) it. In this way will we be able to eliminate false advertisements and make our life worthy, wealthy and healthy.

评析：
本文对画面的描写清楚明了，文章论述层次有条理，有一定的说服力，句式富于变化，语言比较流畅。但需注意的是文中advertisement一会儿用单数形式一会儿用复数形式，请保持一致。
评分：13分

C

Kfzhou的八套题第六篇作文

To whom it (may) concern,
Thank you very much for your inviationi (invitation) to ask me to judge the English competition. But I am really sorry that I can’t attend it because I will go to Beijing to attend my friend’s wedding, which I promised a few days ago. I feel very bed (bad) to miss the opportunity of meeting you.

If allowed, I would like to recommend my classmate Mr. Zhou to be my substitute. He is a gifted young man and he has devoted his heart to English study. I will appreciate it if you could accept him as the judge.

Wish the English speech competition a complete success!
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

评析：
本文用语比较得体，段落结构较为清晰，文字基本通顺，有几处小的拼写错误和语法错误，请留心。
评分：8分

In the picture, the (第一次出现用a) boy, his father and his grandfather are having a meal together. The father picks up a chicken leg and offers it to his father with respect. The little boy is looking at it with his mouth watering. The grandfather, however, picks it up and gives it to his grandson. To everyone’s surprise, the boy doesn’t eat but sends it to his father. Seeing this, the father and grandfather both smile.

The far-reaching pictures remind us of the importance of respect (respecting) the elderly. As we know that respecting the elderly is one of the many virtues in the Chinese traditional culture. The father in the picture makes a good example for the little boy.

Personally, I believe that we should educate the younger generation about the Chinese traditional culture, such as respecting the elderly, lending help to the people in need. In this way will we be able to carry on the tradition of respecting the seniors and make our life worthy, wealthy and healthy.

评析：
本文对图画的描写很不错，语言干净而清晰，同时也很生动。但是文章的论述部分过于简单，对问题的分析不够深入。B部分的作文重点考察的还是学生分析问题和解决问题的语言组织表达能力。
评分：11分

C

模拟5

Dear Li Feng
     I am now writing this letter to express my sincere thanks for you give me warmly received when I visited your school. I would like to you know how much last week at your university mean to me. I not only enjoy the environment of your campus, but also the lovely students in your university.
     I should be obliged if you will visit my university next week. I believe that you will interest in this action. I look forward to seeing you next time.
     I repeat my thanks again for you warmly received. And I look forward to your early reply.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming

  
So vivid and thought-provoking is this extraordinary picture that we are tempted to take another close look and we find in the first picture, a government employee gives some money to a man who is too poor to survival. The man is very happy and say “thanks” to the government employee. On the contrary, when a professor gives a book that teaches people how plant apple. The man refuse to accept this gift. It can easily be seen that many people don’t know what is the utmost importance to became rich.
Indeed, kowededge is most important to reducing poor. There are some reasons to explain this and following are the typical ones. The first reason is that money that others gives you can help you solve some difficults once in a while, but it not always have. The second reason is that if you have technology, you can earn money by yourself. Therefore nothing is more important than to receive education. We can say “it is better to tell you how to catch fish than to give you fish”.
Accordingly it is imperative for us to take concerned measures. First and foremost the government should play positive role in support job trainging programs. In addition, we should improve the awareness of people that it is of the utmost importance to receive education. The last but not the least it is essential that rules should be worked out to encourage technical personnel teach poor people some knowledge that can help them finding job.

楼主辛苦啦～～～

原帖由 找着找着 于 2008-12-22 12:04 发表
模拟5

Dear Li Feng
     I am now writing this letter to express my sincere thanks for you give me warmly received when I visited your school. I would like to you know how much last week at yo ...

Dear Li Feng,
I am now writing this letter to express my sincere thanks for you give me warmly received (修改为your warm reception) when I visited your school. I would like to you know (you to know) how much last week at your university mean to me (修改为：how much joyfulness of the experience at your university last week has been given to me). I not only enjoy the environment of your campus, but also the lovely students in your university.

I should be obliged if you will visit my university next week. I believe that you will interest (请查字典interest动词的用法，此处修改为：be interested) in this action (用词错误，修改为：activity). I look forward to seeing you next time.

I repeat my thanks again (与repeat重复，删去) for you warmly received. And I look forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文段落结构比较清晰，但文中词语运用和语法错误过多。真诚地提醒作者，如果每次写作文都是错误的运用词汇和语法，只能加深对于错误的记忆。请在平时的练习中遇到任何拿不准的用法都查查字典，这样的练习才真正有效！
评分：5分


So vivid and thought-provoking is this extraordinary picture that we are tempted to take another close look and we find in the first picture, (句式错误，去掉逗号，加上that) a government employee gives some money to a man who is too poor to survival (词性问题survive). The man is very happy and say “thanks” to the government employee. On the contrary, when a professor gives a book that teaches people how (疑问词加动词不定式做宾语to) plant apple. The man refuse (主谓一致refuses) to accept this gift. It can easily be seen that many people don’t know what is the utmost importance to became (不定式后面用原形become) rich.

Indeed, kowededge (knowledge) is most important to reducing poor (1.be important to do sth 或者be important to sth 2.“消除贫困”应为eliminate poverty
此处修改为：is most important to eliminate poverty或者is most important to poverty elimination). There are some reasons to explain this and following (词语运用错误，the followings) are the typical ones. The first reason is that money that others gives (主谓一致give) you can help you solve some difficults (difficulties) once in a while, but it (缺少谓语，加上will) not always have (do so). The second reason is that if you have technology, you can earn money by yourself. Therefore nothing is more important than to receive education. We can say “it is better to tell you how to catch fish than to give you fish”.

Accordingly it is imperative for us to take concerned measures. First and foremost the government should play positive role in support (supporting) job training programs. In addition, we should improve the awareness of people that it is of the utmost importance to receive education. The last but not the least it is essential that rules should be worked out to encourage technical personnel (to) teach poor people some knowledge that can help them finding job.

评析：
本文对图画寓意的理解正确，段落结构比较清晰，需注意短语搭配，主谓一致等问题。小作文出现的问题在大作文再次显现，说明写作考察的是基础语言知识的综合运用能力，没有牢固的基础知识，是无法写出优秀的作文的。请作者继续努力！
评分：7分


C

强悍!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

问一下，大家觉得这八套难吗？

Kfzhou八套题第八篇作文

The picture vividly shows that, a man is busy cutting pieces from other’s (others’) articles and pasting these pieces together. The man with the opinion of “yours is mine” finishes his article by this way and then labels this article (as) “my achievement”.

Obviously it is wrong to do so. However, this phenomenon is very popular among the (非特指，去掉the) scholars. It will do harm to our society in the long run. Among other things, the scholar will create no new ideas by this way. With the articles which have no new ideas (与前面重复，语言显得赘述，建议与上一句合并起来，加上连接成分as a result), our society can’t move on. Besides, it’s a social moral problem. Just thinking of your articles stolen by others in their articles, will you not be angry?

In my opinion, it is seriously wrong for them to do so. It is high time to take steps to control this situation. On one hand, our government may establish a few laws to punish the people who steal other’s achievement. On the other hand, we should educate young people not to do so. Only in this way will we be able to eliminate this phenomenon.

评析：
本文对图画的描述比较清晰，对寓意的把握也是正确的，段落结构方面做得不错，语言表达比较流畅，句式有变化，词语运用基本准确。
评分：13分


Notice
To all students and staff,
It is widely believed that, the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games is a complete success and gives us a perfect memory. In every field of Beijing Olympic Games, a lot of champions turned in superb performances to retain their titles. Although the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games is over, the spirt (spirit) of Olympic will encourage us to move on. Do you want to write it down about the 2008 Olympic Games? Our school journal is seeking contributions. All students and staff are warmly welcomed to send your articles by email before next Monday. The school journal email is schooljournal@gmail.com.
The Editorial Board

评析：
本文以一篇征稿启事，需要包含活动的组织者，稿件的主题、形式、字数限制、截稿日期、投稿途径等内容。这样的告示才能真正起到宣传的作用。而本文只涉及了以上部分内容，而且截稿日期也不详细，next Monday任何时候看都是next Monday。望作者下次写作时细心一些。
本文的语言表达比较流畅，用词和句式也较为不错。
评分：8分


C

太好了！！！！！！

谢谢啦！您辛苦了！！