张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

真是太感谢了
第一段真的需要好好弄弄

谢谢楼主分享！

As is vividly shown in the picture,a mobile phone with trash messages are being received om its screen has been a new friend of several dustbins. It goes without saying that the purpose of the drawing is to reveal to us a critical problem which we should take into account seriously.
    Nowadays rubbish messages has been a hot topic discussed in all walks of people. Of course we can not deny that the cell phone brings us much of conveniences.Wherever you are and whatever it is,only you want,can you comunicate with your family through a message.But meanwhile every coin has two sides,this also become a probability to send you messages which most of them are unuseful as long as someone knows your phone mumber,even you do not want to read them.This not only wastes our time but also may disturb our normal life.
     Thus,it is the high time that our society took effective measures and developed new technology to stop those rubbish messages.Moreover,we civils also should to take part in and boycott these messages.Finally,I believe that our society would be more harmonious and a better place for us to live in.

非常感谢，好东西

看了很有益处～～～

这种方式太适合我了
十分感谢张老师!!!

不错，加油啊！

真是好地方啊
我也做了，但是还没有写作文
但是阅读和完型错很多啊
感觉没戏了

原帖由 fengming007 于 2008-12-4 22:10 发表
As is vividly shown in the picture,a mobile phone with trash messages are being received om its screen has been a new friend of several dustbins. It goes without saying that the purpose of the dr ...

As is vividly shown in the picture, a mobile phone with trash messages are being received on its screen has been a new friend of several dustbins. (表意不清，修改为：a mobile phone among several dustbins are receiving trash messages. ) It goes without saying that the purpose of the drawing is to reveal to us a critical problem which we should take into account seriously.

Nowadays rubbish messages has (have) been a hot topic discussed in all walks of people (among people from all walks of life). Of course we can not deny that the cell phone brings us much of conveniences (much convenience). Wherever you are and whatever it is, (if) only you want, can you (you can) communicate with your family through a message. But meanwhile every coin has two sides, this also become a probability to send you messages which most of them are useful (句式错误。修改为：it is also probably that you will receive some useless messages) as long as someone knows your phone member, even you do not want to read them (删除). This not only wastes our time but also may disturb our normal life.

Thus, it is the high time that our society took effective measures and developed new technology to stop those rubbish messages. Moreover, we civils (civilians) also should to (去掉) take part in and boycott these messages (take part in boycotting these messages). Finally, I believe that our society would be（a）more harmonious and a (去掉a) better place for us to live in.

评析：
本文正确地阐释了图画的内涵，段落结构比较清晰，句式运用上也具多样化。需要注意的是许多语法错误，一定要细心避免那些基础的语法错误，对于自己没有掌握的要重新学习。句子结构方面还需加强，望认真分析自己写错的句子的原因。
评分：14分


C

恩，谢谢老师啊，老师一改，恍然大悟啊！