张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

vivian0129的作文

小作文
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a senior from the Department of clinical medicine (Department of Clinical Medicine).I am writing the letter in (with the) purpose of applying to became (for) a volunteer to assist to (去掉to) the injured in Sichuan province.

There are two main reasons. Firstly, Sichuan is my hometown, where I was born and growing (grew up). I hope I could do something to help my hometown people when they are in need. Secondly, as a major of clinical medicine (as a student majoring in clinical medicine), I believe I can do a lot of service for (offer great services to) the disaster place.

I hope I could go to the worst destroyed area to work for one year as a volunteer. (此句重复删去)

Thanks for you (your) consideration. I am looking forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

评析：
本文结构比较清晰，用语较为得体，但是文中许多词语运用和基本的语法出现了错误，望作者加强基本功的练习。没有好的基本功，是无法写出好的作文来。
评分：6分

问题回答：
1临床医学
clinical medicine
不一定非要写“临床医学”，笼统地说the Department of Medicine也可以。

2文中第二段提到可以用自己的医学知识帮助灾区，就已经回答了“how”的问题了。

大作文
As is shown in the cartoon, a thin man grew a plant. With the hard work by him the plant grew strongly. Then the man tastes (时态一致 tasted) the sweet (drop).

Simply as it describe (describes), the implied meaning is thought-provoking. It tells us that \"One pains, one gains.\"
(没有这种说法，改为：\"No pains, no gains.\") One the one hand, studying is hard, but student (students) have gained knowledge. Growing plant is difficult, but farmers have gained fruit (“成果”常用复数形式fruits). On the other hand, no pains no gains. (与前文重复) If the student (students) don\'t study hard, they will never get knowledge. If the farmers don\'t work hard, they\'ll not get the fruit (fruits).

Nowadays our country, China, is developing fast. People in variety (various) areas are needed (need) to built (build) our country (表意不完整，加上by hard working). Though hard and difficulty (difficult) as we known (know), we\'ll have a wonderful day (future).

评析：
本文对图画的理解是正确的，文章的框架结构比较明晰，但是语言表达能力比较弱，句式有些重复，缺少变换，文中语法错误过多。此外，文章的内容显得很单薄，两个论点表述得不清楚。
你提问说不知道写什么，建议平时多读一些易于模仿的、常见的主题的文章。现在的你应该背一些有用的表达，同时注意减少语法错误。
评分：10分


C

The scene depicted in the cartoon, I feel, should capture an army of viewers’ attention. As is vividly illustrated in the black and white picture above, three garbages are put together with a  mbile-phone,which is receiving junk messages. Increasing numbers of similar depictions can be read today in newspapers as well as in magazine.
     This seemingly simple cartoon conveys a deep and profound message: nowadays individuals are bombed with growing numbers of junk message. coincident with the advancement of science and technology,we witnessed that more and more problems emerge. currently,many folks or producers,if not the most,utilize the phone to deliver junk messages to other for advertising their commodities or information that will disturb our suitable life .this phenomenon give rise to a lot of complaint.
     From what has been mentioned above, we may reasonably arrive at the conclusion that junk messages are boring to us,government should take the essential steps to control it.if we let this situation go as it is ,we won’t know where our enjoyable life is in the future.By that time ,our environment will suffer a great destruction.

谢谢楼主分享!

Kfzhou的作文

To whom it may concern,
Thanks very much for your warm hospitality when I visited your university last week.
You had shown me your campus. That was my first time to go to your university, and I was deeply moved by the beautiful sight. Besides, you and your classmate (classmates) also held a party for me, which I appreciated very much.
My university is very beautiful, too. I would like to show you around it. If you have interest in visiting it, I will be very happy.
I do hope you‘ll visit me someday soon so that I may return your kindness and warm hospitality. Look forward to your arrival
Yours sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文语言热诚，用语得体，符合书信的规范，文章框架结构比较明晰，文中错误较少。
评分：9分

The poor farmer’s attitudes are very different, which is most vividly illustrated in the above two pictures. In the first one, the farmer is very happy to accept it when he is given relief money. By contrast, he shakes his head and refuses to accept it when he is given knowledge and technology. It means that knowledge and technology is (are) less important than money in the farmer’s mind.

These pictures reflect a widespread phenomenon in the society----pay too much attention to money rather than knowledge and technology. This is wrong. We all know that money will be used up one day, while we can benefit a lot from knowledge and technology through our life.

Knowledge and technology is becoming more and more important in today\'s increasingly competition. We are students at present, and we also must work hard to arm ourselves with knowledge and technology, which can provide us for (改为with) (加上something) more than many (much) money, and can also keep us updated.

评析：
本文对图画的描述简明而准确，对其寓意的把握也是正确的。论述部分条理比较清晰，文章语言流畅，句式有变换，文中错误比较少。
评分：15分


C

Kfzhou的作文

To whom it may concern,
Thanks very much for your warm hospitality when I visited your university last week.
You had shown me your campus. That was my first time to go to your university, and I was deeply moved by the beautiful sight. Besides, you and your classmate (classmates) also held a party for me, which I appreciated very much.
My university is very beautiful, too. I would like to show you around it. If you have interest in visiting it, I will be very happy.
I do hope you‘ll visit me someday soon so that I may return your kindness and warm hospitality. Look forward to your arrival
Yours sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文语言热诚，用语得体，符合书信的规范，文章框架结构比较明晰，文中错误较少。
评分：9分

The poor farmer’s attitudes are very different, which is most vividly illustrated in the above two pictures. In the first one, the farmer is very happy to accept it when he is given relief money. By contrast, he shakes his head and refuses to accept it when he is given knowledge and technology. It means that knowledge and technology is (are) less important than money in the farmer’s mind.

These pictures reflect a widespread phenomenon in the society----pay （同位语成分应一致，改为：paying）too much attention to money rather than knowledge and technology. This is wrong. We all know that money will be used up one day, while we can benefit a lot from knowledge and technology through our life.

Knowledge and technology is becoming more and more important in today\'s increasingly competition. We are students at present, and we also must work hard to arm ourselves with knowledge and technology, which can provide us for (改为with) (加上something) more than many (much) money, and can also keep us updated.

评析：
本文对图画的描述简明而准确，对其寓意的把握也是正确的。论述部分条理比较清晰，文章语言流畅，句式有变换，文中错误比较少。
评分：15分


C

[ 本帖最后由 peterzjf 于 2008-12-11 10:18 编辑 ]

thank you!thank you!thank you!

原帖由 allen1987101 于 2008-12-10 23:05 发表
The scene depicted in the cartoon, I feel, should capture an army of viewers’ attention. As is vividly illustrated in the black and white picture above, three garbages are put together with a  m ...

The scene depicted in the cartoon, I feel, should capture an army of viewers’ attention. As is vividly illustrated in the black and white picture above, three garbages (不可数名词garbage) are put together with a mobile-phone, which is receiving junk messages. Increasing numbers of similar depictions can be read today in newspapers as well as in magazine (magazines).

This seemingly simple cartoon conveys a deep and profound message: nowadays individuals are bombed with growing numbers of junk message. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, we witnessed （保持时态一致witness）that more and more problems emerge. Currently, many folks or producers (1 folk比较不正式，不用在正式文章中，2 producer包含在前面一类人中，分类不明确，改为：many people especially the producers), if not the most, uitilizes (utilize) the phone to deliver junk messages to other （others）for advertising their commodities or information that will disturb our suitable(用词不恰当，改为：steady) life. This phenomenon give (gives) rise to a lot of complaint (complaints).

From what has been mentioned above, we may reasonably arrive at the conclusion that junk messages are boring to us; government should take the （去掉the）essential steps to control it(改为：them，与前面messages搭配). If we let this situation go as it is, we won’t know where our enjoyable life is in the future. By that time, our environment (过于宽泛，需具体一点：information environment) will suffer a great destruction.

评析：
本文段落结构比较清晰，句式有变换，用词基本准确，但是文中重复的话、套话有一些多，文章内容有些空洞。
评分：13分


C

[ 本帖最后由 peterzjf 于 2008-12-11 14:38 编辑 ]

做这个题打击了

呵呵，真的很不错

谢谢楼主分享！！！